Swinger and Lifestyle Glossary: 40 Terms Explained
Every lifestyle term in plain English: soft swap, full swap, unicorn, hotwife, bull, ENM, takeover and more.
- The lifestyle
- Swinging: a committed couple choosing to play with others, together.
- Swinger
- Someone in the lifestyle.
- ENM
- Ethical non-monogamy: any honest, agreed-upon non-exclusive relationship.
- Open relationship
- Partners can see others, usually independently.
- Soft swap
- Everything but intercourse with someone else.
- Full swap
- Intercourse with other partners is OK.
- Same room
- Playing where partners can see each other.
- Separate room
- Partners are comfortable playing apart.
- Unicorn
- A single, usually bisexual woman who joins a couple.
- Unicorn hunter
- A couple looking for a unicorn, sometimes used critically.
- Hotwife
- A wife who plays with others with her partner's enthusiastic support.
- Stag / Vixen
- A hotwife's partner who enjoys hearing about or watching her experiences.
- Bull
- A single man invited to play with a couple, often a hotwife.
- Cuckold / cuckquean
- Someone aroused by their partner being with another person.
- MFM / MFF
- A threesome with two men and a woman, or two women and a man.
- Foursome
- Two couples together.
- Group play
- More than four people.
- Takeover
- When lifestyle couples book out a hotel or resort for a weekend.
- Lifestyle resort
- An adults-only resort where lifestyle couples vacation.
- Lifestyle club
- A private venue for couples and invited singles: dancing, socializing and play areas.
- On-premise club
- A club where play is allowed on site.
- Off-premise club
- A social club where couples meet but play elsewhere.
- Play party
- A private party where play is welcome.
- Meet and greet
- A no-pressure social meetup.
- Newbie
- Someone new to the lifestyle.
- Vanilla
- Not in the lifestyle, or not kinky.
- NSA
- No strings attached.
- Bi-curious
- Interested in exploring the same sex.
- Heteroflexible
- Mostly straight, open to the same sex.
- Girl-girl
- Two women playing together.
- Soft limits / hard limits
- Maybe-with-care vs. never.
- Safe word
- A word that stops everything immediately.
- Hall pass
- Permission to play without your partner present.
- Parallel play
- Couples playing with their own partners side by side.
- Swap
- Partners trading for the evening.
- Voyeur
- Someone who enjoys watching.
- Exhibitionist
- Someone who enjoys being watched.
- Compersion
- Feeling joy at your partner's happiness with someone else.
- Check-in
- A quick private talk between partners during an evening.
- Verified couple
- On SwingSet: both partners ID-verified, together.
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Keep reading
- What Is the Swinger Lifestyle? A Plain-English Guide for Couples
- Swinger Etiquette: 12 Rules Every Couple Should Know
- Your First Time at a Swingers Club: What to Expect
- Soft Swap vs. Full Swap: What's the Difference?